Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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