It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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