And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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