There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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