I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize