I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
