Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
