No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
