Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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