nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
