I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
