I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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