I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
