Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
