It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
