Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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