I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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