we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
