Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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