Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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