Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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