Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
