You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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