you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
how does that bad decision feel?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
