Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
