I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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