is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
