too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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