I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
