We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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