Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
