This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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