It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
