I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
