i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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