But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
