that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize