as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
