Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I believe in your delicious
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
