Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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