Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
