Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
