No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
