I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
