That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just found puke in my bra..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
