Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
