The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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