...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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