you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
