i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize