You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
