Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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