i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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