Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
