absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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