READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
