i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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