is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
