so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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