I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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