"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
